andersenmom

I've been thinking a lot lately on why I spend so much time on the computer. It's a huge, vicious downward spiral, it kind of goes like this:

1. Avoid messy house
2. house gets messier
3. Even 15 minutes isn't enough to make a difference
4. Avoid messy house
etc.

Or, alteratively:

1. Kids driving me crazy.
2. Go hide (ineffective - they know to find me there)
3. They drive me more crazy
4. I yell at them to go away
etc.

It's half amusing and half pathetic that when I sit on the couch in the living room (where I can see my computer and office), and look up when my children are looking for me, to see them turn in to check the computer first. Although, the pathetic... ness of it is fast overwhelming the amusement. Not the children - but that I spend so much time there. WASTE so much time there.

I can't make myself do housework, mostly because it never seems to matter. Even if I get it clean, five minutes later it looks like I haven't done anything.

Surely a sign I have too much stuff.

Is there someone out there who knows of a method of cleaning for someone who needs to see the end result? It's like, in the book "Misty of Chincoteague", using a broom and dustpan to keep the flood waters out of the house!

I've just finished Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture," which prompted all of this. I don't know what to do about it, yet. But the first step is identifying a problem. Or admitting there it a problem, right?

Maybe I need my own little 12-step program.

Or, at least, to know what the steps are.

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I also read an article in the Ensign about refining silver that was amazing, and I can't find it again. Drat.

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I recommend reading "The Last Lecture." It's easy to read, in bite-sized chunks, and applicable to whatever stage of life we're in. I loved his definition of luck, actually a quote from Seneca: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. He calls it a cliche, but I don't know it!

Another thing from the book: Expeience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.